In loving memory of my precious, Garfield (Jan 2006 - Dec 2015)

10 December 2015 marks the day we lost our precious doggy, Garfield, to MCT. He was a strong boy, a superdog, who fought his cancer for a good 8 months. All the doctors whom he met, are all proud of him. Dearest Garfield had tried all his means to survive, trying all sorts of treatments and his strong will had allowed him to outlive his expected lifespan. He even waited on to celebrate my dad's birthday on 9 December, waited for dad and mum to leave home for work, then he went on his journey to the rainbow bridge.

It was about 8.30am that I saw him shaking and quickly brought him in to the emergency vet opposite my house (Thank God I lived opposite one). He started to leak urine (which the doctor explained that doggy gasped his last breathe and his muscle relaxed). Finally brought down doggy and immediately I saw all the busy resuscitation work being performed on him. Heart pumping, adrenaline injections, oxygen gassing, all was done to just bring my dog back for awhile, to wait for BF, brother and my parents to come. I am not surprised, that doggy waited for my dad to arrive and beat his last heartbeat, at 9.36am.

We were all devastated. We waited for the cremation centre staff to come and bring doggy away, and will have the cremation ceremony tomorrow (Saturday). Watching them bring my dog away was heart shattering, as he had not been away from us before. Poor fella will only see us 2 days later.

I thought we were all prepared, at least I thought I was. The night before, I already had a bad feeling. I had this same feeling a couple months back, and I guessed he must have pleaded to whoever above to let him stay till my dad's birthday. That fateful night I hardly caught any sleep, everything about doggy was running in my mind. I was silently rehearsing what to do when it happens, fear and worry just overwhelms me. But, all these actually don't matter. When the time comes, sadness still overcome us no matter how. 

I miss his smell, I miss touching his fur, I miss him licking my face, I miss always barricading my room door because he would pee on my bed and now I don't have to. I miss stepping into the house and call out to his name and now I can't. I miss tickling his ears and his little feet, I miss poking his fleshy butt which he lost at the end stage, I miss kissing his forehead, I miss hugging and squeezing him, I miss him whenever I ate apples or papaya cos those were his favourites, I miss injecting him with the medications and now I don't have to, I miss him always in that position like that of a roasted pig, I miss how he begged for hugs and comfort when thunder came and it rained heavily yesterday, who will be comforting him? I miss alot alot of him. But my dad was dealt the biggest blow, he cried day and night, for he was closest to doggy. 

So what was it that cause him to be sick, it was Mast Cell Tumor (MCT), a type of skin tumour in dogs, more commonly found in breeds such as Boston Terriers, Boxers, Pugs, and Bulldogs, as well as retriever breeds, though any breed of dog can develop MCT. It first began with a small lump in between his paws, which the first vet tried to drain the water but it came back. He was thereafter found to have a lump at his neck, when I brought him back for the second time. Having seeking a 2nd opinion with Dr Lee Yee Lin (now at Gentle Oaks Vet), we did a test for the lump at the paws and his neck, he was diagnosed with MCT, Grade 2 and abv). MCT is one of the toughest cancer to fight in animals, if you read up, yes it is curable but requires incision of the lump, with a wide margin of at least 3 cm to prevent spread. How much flesh will you have at your neck to allow a 3cm margin? 

On 18 April 2015, doggy had his first operation to remove his neck lump. The wound was halfway round his neck, and it looked like they almost cut his head off. The doctor further diagnosed that the lump was in-grown into the muscles, which means highly unpredictable (muscles are all over your body). The night he came back all goggy and whiny from the pain, but the next day he could already stand and bark already. He is my all so strong baby. 

Ever since his operation, we started his special cancer diet consisting of raw chicken, high protein, no carbs, high omega 3 food. We prayed hard he will recover. The doctor did not immediately put him on chemotherapy and hope he could recover from the incision. Everything went well until 1 month later, small lumps started to develop. What that meant was, the cancer cells were not totally wiped off, and we know the type of cancer he had was aggressive and fast spreading - poor prognosis. 

A roller coaster journey of treatment started. Changing different types of chemotherapy from oral drugs (Masivet) to injections (Vinblastin), including all the many many TCM and supplements that he had to take to strengthen his body. It is very unfortunate that in Singapore, we do not have radiation treatment for pets (which is much more effective). Every time the treatment will go well and then worsen as the effects get immuned, everytime our hearts got hope and then feel saddened. We could not prevent the lumps from spreading to his face, trunk, feet, everywhere.

Until about 3 weeks ago, doctor suggested for us an oxygenated water therapy. This treatment was trialed in humans and worked well. Though not an orthodox method, but we could only try since nothing else helps. We gave him oxygenated drinking water, including injections with the water. It was the first ever time I played nurse for him and injects him every night. The lumps started to dry up, the biggest one at the chest started to soften. The water was working! The logic behind this treatment, was that oxygen does not exist in areas where cancer cells survives. By increasing the level of oxygen in those areas, will naturally starve the cancer cells and then being passed out of the body through skin, vomits or diarrhea. Very soon we also realise the side effects of this treatment. The treatment was harsh, causing him to vomit, diarrhea, due to the cleansing effect of the water. My strong boy did not even vomit or diarrhea during his chemotherapy. At the end, even though his lumps got better, his body could not take it and started to lose weight, from a chubby boy, to only skin and bones. 

From a 4 months expectant life, he managed to pull through 8 months, that earned very happy times for him and us. He was so strong and brave, he would not whine any bits during every injection. He is always my brave boy, my Captain America! He is ever so positive.

Writing this post, I hope pet owners come to know about MCT, even though there are really no prevention to it like some other cancers. Recollecting every bits through this post, I will find strength to remember him, and learn that we have done our very best for him, though at times, we will feel guilty. Due to his sensitive skin, we seldom bring him out for walks and to social. Only at his later days, we brought him out more often in a carrier, play what other dogs would play, do what other dogs would do. I would say, he had his happy days. Sometimes I would question, why did he not recover even though we have done so much, I must have not done enough else he would have survived. I hope I will come to terms with myself one fine day.

I know my precious is a strong boy, everyone is very proud of him. Small and timid, but tough and strong. I learnt your determination, I learnt your love, you have not given up, but hope we would not worry about you anymore. Now that you are free of your pain and sufferings, I really do hope you are in a better place with lots of love and new friends like Vivi, Dippy, Shan Yuan and more! We will keep you by our side, at our home, we will ever have a shelter for you whenever you feels like resting from your play. Thank you my sweetie boy for your love, your company, your naughtiness, your greediness and cuteness for all these years, please watch over us from above. 

I would like to thank all of my friends and people all over the world for your kind words and encouragement. Thank you Dr Lee for providing her best and committed treatment for Garfield, we earned that bonus time mostly because of her. Thank you my family for being ever understanding and committed to take care of doggy all these years. I would love to thank my nice-until-don't-know-how-to-describe BF for treating my dog like yours, loving him like yours, even though he is not. All the love that Garfield got, was truly amazing and overwhelming, that will heal our hearts in time to come. Please pray for my parents to get over this sadness soon enough for their health. 

Things will never be the same again, but some things will never change, Sweet Memories. We will miss you my precious. I strongly believe we will meet again one day, and I would love to squeeze hug you, my Captain America.